Thursday, December 7, 2017

Revising Poetry

So you get a first draft of a poem and it seems pretty good.  Now what?  Is it ready to publish?  Everything is spelled right.  It makes sense.  So how do you revise?  How do you make it better?  What can you do with a basic poem like this, that has a good topic choice with a nice twist at the end and make it into an A+ poem that grabs the reader?
Thank you to Maddie for allowing us to experiment with her writing.

That one kid makes me sad,                              
That one kid makes me mad.
When I see him I just go Eww!!!!
I don’t like him,
He doesn’t like me.
We fight all the time.
She started it!
No he started it!!
He makes me go crazy,
I make him flip out.
But the truth is………
He’s my brother.

One area that could be improved is word choice. The Reading Workshop Poetry Rubric says, Word choice is exact, colorful, and interesting. What words could be changed to improve this poem?  Is there a synonym for sad that would be more interesting? Or mad? Or doesn't like?

We could also look at improving and adding sensory details like the rubric describes as, Uses sensory details to help the reader see, hear, feel, and/or think. What could be changed to help what the reader visualizes?  Could the "one kid" be described in some way?   What changes would help the reader see the fight?
When you have completed your revised version, paste it into the form below.

You can see revisions HERE.