Less Words for More Meaning

Cut out all those words.  This is poetry so you don't need them.  In fact, if the word doesn't do something to clarify meaning, or help make your point, just delete it.

Get rid of all those annoying little words and leave only the ones that matter. You really don't need all those it's and is's.  Nor do you need those are's and were's. Trim the fat and excess words.  Make your poem meaningful and exciting.

The best thing about poetry is that the author makes the rules.  You can choose whether or not to use capital letters, sentences, and punctuation.  The only rule is write in the best way to make your poem meaningful and understandable.  Just write so your reader relates to your message.

Author's note:  There are divided thoughts about using apostrophes in certain circumstances to show plural.  The general thinking is that it is allowable in a few instances if it helps considerably with making text more easily understood and more readable.

Image from kerileebeasley.com

Is Your Meaning Clear?

Make sure your writing says what you mean.

Image from Puns @TheFunnyWorId

Rewrite a Poem

I was walking

across the lawn.

It was dark

and I was afraid.

I heard a noise.

You can see responses HERE or HERE

Rewrite Your Poetry

Take a piece of advise from Lee Bennet Hopkins in his poem titled, Dear Poet. Take one of your drafts, Reading Workshop students, copy it twice, and write three versions.

Dear Poet,

Do you want
to write a poem?

Forget it . . .
until
you have
rewritten it.

Make your poem
stronger
by
not
writing a poem

but
rewriting it
and
rewriting it
and
rewriting it

until--

what you
have
is
a poem
like
no
other
poet
has
ever
written--

or

rewritten--

before!

Poem from Seeing the Blue Between compiled by Paul Janeczko.

Revision

Poems are never finished. Eventually though, we just stop working on them.

Naomi Shihab Nye said:

If a teacher told me to revise, I thought that meant my writing was a broken-down car that needed to go to the repair shop. I felt insulted. I didn’t realize the teacher was saying, “Make it shine. It’s worth it.” Now I see revision as a beautiful word of hope. It’s a new vision of something. It means you don’t have to be perfect the first time. What a relief!      

Image from www.teacherspayteachers.com

Revising Poetry

Take a piece of advise from Lee Bennet Hopkins in his poem titled, Dear Poet. Take one of your drafts, Reading Workshop students, copy it twice, and write three versions.

Dear Poet,

Do you want
to write a poem?

Forget it . . .
until
you have
rewritten it.

Make your poem
stronger
by
not
writing a poem

but
rewriting it
and
rewriting it
and
rewriting it

until--

what you
have
is
a poem
like
no
other
poet
has
ever
written--

or

rewritten--

before!

Poem from Seeing the Blue Between compiled by Paul Janeczko.

Zero Tolerance for Writing Errors

Starting today there is zero tolerance for mistakes in writing. The school year is half over.  Students in Reading Workshop have been writing every day.  The expectations for writing are for students to use the skills that have been taught.  

Students are expected to write without errors in spelling and mechanics. Each student has tools available, including a computer with word processing and spell check, a dictionary, online sites like Answers.com and Dictionary.com, peer assistance, and spelling buddies. There really is no reason for writing with mistakes, other than a lack of effort.

Students are expected to use correct punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar. When an assignment is turned in with errors, students' grades will be drastically cut.  Students must edit with attention to detail or they will not pass.

If students don't know the difference between your and you're, it's time to learn.  The first letter in words in a title, proper noun or to start a sentence must be capitalized.  Tiny mistakes mean huge differences in grades.

Step it up Reading Workshop students.  The responsibility for writing cleanly and clearly is on you.  

Revising Poems

So you get a first draft of a poem and it seems pretty good.  Now what?  Is it ready to publish?  Everything is spelled right.  It makes sense.  So how do you revise?  How do you make it better?  What can you do with a basic poem like this, that has a good topic choice with a nice twist at the end and make it into an A+ poem?

Thank you to Maddie for allowing us to experiment with her writing.

That one kid makes me sad,                              

That one kid makes me mad.

When I see him I just go Eww!!!!

I don’t like him,

He doesn’t like me.

We fight all the time.

She started it!

No he started it!!

He makes me go crazy,

I make him flip out.

But the truth is………

He’s my brother.

One area that could be improved is word choice. The Reading Workshop Poetry Rubric says, Word choice is exact, colorful, and interesting. What words could be changed to improve this poem?  Is there a synonym for sad that would be more interesting? Or mad? Or doesn't like?

We could also look at improving and adding sensory details like the rubric describes as, Uses sensory details to help the reader see, hear, feel, and/or think.  What could be changed to help what the reader visualizes?  Could the "one kid" be described in some way?   What changes would help the reader see the fight?

The rubric also says, A natural rhythm and structure. Is there a way to put this into stanzas that would improve how it flows and sounds to the reader?

Regarding effort, reflects the effort to create a special piece of writing. What could be added to build this into a more meaningful poem?



You can see the revised poems HERE.

Why Student Blogs are So Valuable

I read Cassie's blog yesterday, and thought about it several times throughout the evening.  I woke up this morning and thought about it again.  She really nailed it.   She compared the meanness in Larger-Than-Life Lara with what she sees and feels some times at school.

As we work towards improving higher level thinking, and writing that supports ideas and opinions with explicit and intricate details, she  wrote a post that was extraordinary.  However, there were many mistakes in PUGS (Punctuation, Usage, Grammar, and Spelling).  Her post shows how blogging will build writing skills, while pushing students to think, and reason, and consider themselves, their lives, and how people treat others.

Opinions are sometimes really mean like when someone talks about you.  When you talk about them and it is not nice but it could be nice sometimes. When people do that it is just like them talking about you. How would you feel if someone talked about you? It would not feel to good. 

That is why I don’t like it when my friends make fun of people to make them look cool. It just makes them look like a jerk.  I don’t like it when people talk about people. It is just really mean. I really think that if we don’t talk about people there would be no fights at school and for people who do talk about people need to stop.

Don’t talk about people because when people do it just gets back at them and they talk about kids. People don’t like it when you talk about them because all it does is  start a fight. So thats why I don’t but I’m not going to lie. I have talked about people but I quit.

This was a super job relating Cassie's life to the book I am reading aloud in Reading Workshop.  As her writing skills improve, great thoughts like these will be a topic for discussion and growth for her, and her classmates.
Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/robinhutton/86405062/in/set-72157605053379133/

*

Zero Tolerance for Errors

This is a new type of zero tolerance set up specifically for Reading Workshop. Students are expected to write without mistakes. Each student has tools available, including a computer with word processing and spell check, a dictionary, online sites like Answers.com and Dictionary.com, peer assistance, and spelling buddies. There really is no reason for writing with mistakes, other than a lack of effort.

Students are expected to use correct punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar. When an assignment is turned in with errors, students will redo it until it is correct. Amazingly, in only three days, the writing has improved dramatically. Students have begun to edit with attention to detail. What seemed to be a totally unfair demand, has shown astounding results.
Surely students would not have been trying to slide by with a minimal amount of effort! Once again, students show how they can rise to the level of expectation. With the drastic improvement already, I cannot imagine the quality of writing I can expect in a few weeks. I anxiously await some of the phenomenal pieces of work that will be produced this year in Reading Workshop.

Editing Until it's Right

I was reading the NYC Educator's Blog when I came upon this post. He told this story about one of his students.

I looked at the kid's paper, and there wasn't a capital letter on it. This freaked me out a little, since I know for a fact they use them in his native language.

"Didn't your first-grade teacher tell you to use big letters when you start sentences?" I asked, pointing to the first letter of the first paragraph, a plainly lower-case "t."

"Yes, but I forget."

"Well, remember," I said.

15 minutes later I went back, and the kid had corrected only that first letter.

"You want me to do all of them?" he asked.

"Of course," I told him.

He resigned himself to the miserable task. When I came back, he had capitalized the first letter of every line, without regard to where the sentences had begun.

He probably didn't anticipate my being cruel enough to make him rewrite the whole thing. But goshdarn it, it's all part of the learning process.

As students finish up letters today, I wonder how many will turn in papers with simple mistakes, that they know how to correct?

Based on the grades that students have been earning on their weekly WTC (Words that Count) assignment, I imagine there will be some low grades due to lack of effort editing.

Maybe we should take a page from the NCY Educator, and just keep doing it until they are done correctly.

Read Aloud to Revise

Kara M. said, "When you go through your essay, you see it like you think it's supposed to be. When you read it aloud, you find the mistakes." Her experience with reading her letter aloud today showed why students learned this writing tool.

As explained in the Reading Workshop Notes:

Reading Aloud to Revise

To revise your content, read an essay aloud. Have the listener alert you at any time when your writing does not make sense, or they have a question. Highlight that part, and after you are finished, go back and rewrite. Then read aloud again to a different person. Repeat the process until your essay is easy to understand and interesting to read.

For this to work, the listener must be actively involved, and not afraid to speak up whenever the essay does not make sense, or has grammatical errors. He must also listen for pauses, and be sure appropriate punctuation is included.

Scary Story

Today we will be writing a scary story. When I told students this last week, they thought I had lost my mind. "It's not Halloween," they said. "Why would we do it in May?" they asked.

Well, funny you should ask that. The things we will cover include:

1. The plot and developing problems;

2. Descriptive writing and adding supporting details;

3. Punctuating dialogue;

4. Character development;

5. Building a narrative to a climax;

6. Cooperation and writing with a partner;

7. Edditing-git that speling write;

8. Writing with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

The assignment is to write a scary/horror story. BUT, shooting or guns, and stabbing or knives, or killing in any way is NOT allowed! All injuries must be incidental or accidental. The focus is on scaring the reading in only the most imaginative ways!

I can't wait to read them.

Problems in Writing

All good writing has problems, lots and lots of problems, with lots and lots of details. The more problems in a narrative, and the more descriptive the writing, the more the reader will be engaged. Problems are what give the story a body. They create the interest by getting the reader to insert himself into the story, to think of solutions, and to root for a character to succeed or fail.

Today, students brainstormed a list of problems that could occur in the setting where their scary story takes place. Each partnership came up with problems that might fit in a horror story. These problems had to be realistic enough to be believable, but "sick" enough to fit into a scary fictional narrative.

Once each group came up with a list of 8 - 10 problems, we came to the circle, and shared ideas. Then students revised their essays, inserting new problems and adding details. As we continue writing and improving these stories, I am sure the final drafts will be excellent and eerie.

Hear Your Writing

One of the best ways to improve writing is to read aloud your essay. ATandT Research Labs has a program that will read aloud for you. The program, called Text to Speech, reads what is written. This is a great tool to use when revising and editing in Writing Workshop.

According to ATandT:
Text-To-Speech, or TTS for short, is computer software that converts text into audible speech. You can try it yourself on our demo page. See our Home page for more information.

All you have to do is type or paste your writing into the text box (step 2) and click on the Speak button. To try it, just go to here.

Co-writing with 4th Grade

Today, the sixth graders were the teachers in Writing Workshop. Mrs. Wolfe's fourth grade language arts class came up to our room to co-write a response to the book, Mountain Magic, written by Alice Boggs Lentz. The question was: How does the main character feel about growing up in the mountains? Use examples from the book to support your answers.

Mrs. Wolfe read the book aloud. The book is the story of a family's journeys home to their grandmother's home in the mountains. The visits are filled with "magic" memories. The sixth grade students did an excellent job as "teachers." They helped their students formulate responses that started with topic sentences, and supported their answer with details from the book.

Tomorrow we will finish answers, revise for content, edit for mistakes, and then publish a final draft on the computers.

Singing in Class

We sing daily in reading class. The lyrics are shown on the wall with a DLP projector. Students read the words as they sing. This helps students build fluency. They learn to read words in chunks, and look for familiar phrases. We also work on vocabulary. Since we started this several years ago, it has consistently improved students' reading levels, and improved test scores. It also is a great way to learn while having fun.

Currently we are singing Welcome to the 60's. This is from the movie Hairspray.

We are revising the friendly letters. We have been working on writing on topic, and supporting that with details from the book. We are also editing with focus on capitalization, punctuation, and correct letter format.

A student (who I won't name Shayna) followed the rules for capitalization to the T. Our NOTES for the day were:

Capitalize
1.first word in a sentence
2.proper nouns—names of people, places, and things
3.first letter of words in a title
4.I

When this unnamed student (Shayna) brought up her paper, every I on the page was in cap's. The NOTES now say, "I when used as a word." She made my afternoon and I am still smiling about it.


Congrats to our Study Island Students of the Day, Shelby C. and Caleb F.

Read at Home Logs are due tomorrow--Friday, September 7.